A World Alone
by DeepTerrorNoiRys
Summary: [College AU] College is the same boring place. His crush hates him and obviously have a crush on his rival. But when Zed saw a girl by the ledge of the roof, things starts to change.
1. 1 - incipient

**Warning:** A brief implication of suicide in this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **incipient** _[adj.]_

\- beginning to exist or appear; in an initial stage

* * *

For a lack of better word, Zed was very, very bored.

From an outside look, he appeared to be successful, at least academically. One of the top student of the prestigious Kinkou High School, apply for medical study with flying colors. Every quizzes, every tests, they were like pieces of cake. Really, from an Ionian point of view, he had no reason not to be proud of his success.

Very well, that was from an _outside_ look. What he was feeling is a consistent lack of enthusiasm and causeless seething anger. He got good grades. His lowest was 3.65. However. he wanted them to be better than those of his (one-sided) rival Shen, who, other than academic outcome, was also generally more decent as a person. Not to mention that his crush-since-childhood Akali hated him. Zed however must admit that pestering her via text message every morning got to land himself in an unfavorable light eventually.

He resented the world and he was deeply lonely as hell.

* * *

The class was concluded. Zed vaguely remembered its content, if not at all. He leaned back on his seat and put his feet on his desk. His mind was contemplating skipping class the next day. From his peripheral sight he can see Shen approaching.

"You skipped breakfast again?" Shen asked with a slight hint of concern. Zed usually wondered why Akali liked this emotionless study machine more than him.

"I had a glass of water this morning. Not going to die," Zed answered through his gritted teeth, "Please fuck off, by the way."

"You cannot keep doing this," Shen said "It's bad for your health."

"Stating the obvious…," Zed breathed. He kept silent for a few moments and then turned to Shen. "Thinking about sleeping in tomorrow. Wanna join?" He said and flashed a grin.

Shen shook his head, "You should not. It will hurt your academic performance."

"Like I care," Zed groaned and push his chair further. It is leaning by the dangerous angle. Then it fell, sending stationeries flying everywhere. It surprised no one except the man.

"You should tend to it," Shen said dryly, "because, surprisingly, grade does matter when it comes to job applications."

As he helped picking up Zed's pens from the floor, he said, with a little weariness in his voice, "You know you are better than this."

"Why, of course," Zed deadpanned, lying on the floor, "Even though I am 0.5 behind you, I am overall better, and therefore—"

"We will review physiology at 4, in the library." Shen cut him off, as he placed the last of Zed's pens in a perfect alignment to an imaginary x-axis. He adjusted his bag and wordlessly left the room.

Zed stayed on the floor for a few more minutes, fighting an urge to sleep right here and there. He later got up because his back started to on a public floor seemed unappealing suddenly.

' _You are better than this,_ ' Shen's word crept back into his mind. He cannot find the exact reason for his lack of motivation and persistent irritation. He was long past the days of 'dark and edgy', getting angry at things and being obsessed with an idea of anarchy. Maybe his long history of competing with Shen stated to wear him down. Maybe he had problems and wanted attention.

Ah, yes, he wanted someone to say "How are you?" to him with genuine care. Not that he would admit that.

As he got up, there was no other people in the lecture hall. He absently checked his phone before gather his belongings and left.

* * *

After relieving himself of leftover bodily fluid (no, not that kind. He may be grumpy but Zed was decent enough to know about time-and-place). Zed headed to the canteen. People started to leave when he reached there. Maybe he did lay on the lecture hall's floor a bit longer than he thought.

Zed settled for the shortest line and wait, not caring for whatever this line was for. It turned out to be a line for salad. This got him thinking about how on earth salad is stereotyped and feminine food. Hell manly man _can_ have salad! It is nutritious and healthy! And it help our digestive system! Everyone should be able to appreciate salad regardless of their gender!

Not with raisins, however.

Zed composed his salad (it is an _art form_ , he thought) and. He scanned the hall for any spare seats, and settle in one that was the nearest

"Oh _please_ ," came an exasperated sigh from nearby.

Actually it is not just ' _the nearest_ ' seat but more ' _the nearest to Akali_ ' seat. He simply ignored her glare of objection and propped himself next to her, also not forgetting to discard her bag on the seat.

"Oh. Didn't see you are here. Does fate favor me today, hm?"

Akali rolled her eyes.

"I was saving this seat for Shen but since you decided to _grace_ me with your presence," she neatly put chopsticks on her bowl of noodles, "I think I'd rather depart, for you is too high and mighty for me to sit next to." She did not attempt to hide her sarcasm. At all.

"You do know gods have human as their lover," Zed smirks in a mock flirty way, "Also, don't waste your food." He stole a meatball from Akali's noodle soup. She glanced at it being swept away and frowned.

"I plan to bring it with me but whatever," Akali mumbled, "Also, those people tend to get cursed or killed, or cursed and then killed."

"I will protect you, if you let me," Zed said with a wink. Akali looked grossed out, like she might throw up.

"I want no protection, 'cause I'm not gonna stick around here for long," she said as she looked around, trying to find some path to quickly disappear from where she were.

"I'm lonely and in a serious need of company, Akali," Zed pouted. Not that it would earn him her sympathy, but , hey, a man can hope, "I don't think you would be this cruel, sitting around and breaking men's heart."

" _A man's_ heart," Akali shot back, "whose owner is a slacker. Seriously, your book—"

"My purpose in life is to propose you to be my bride."

"Now that's a shitty wordplay and very, _very_ creepy."

"Aw, I'm hurt," Zed feigned a heart attack, "Luckily I know just a nurse I want to take care of me."

Akali stiffened, and Zed mentally slap himself.

Usually Zed would not bring up her choice of career to the conversation, knowing that she was feeling stressed about all the study and expectations. She was smart, but Akali always pushes herself and it was difficult for her to accept the fact that she was very good — no — the _best_. She was prone to think about failures and everything that could go wrong. To her, a good help in research paper was more preferable than a shower of praises and flowers.

No wonder she chose Shen, who silently admired her efforts but never, _never_ thought less about her study. Zed would just slack off, told her that it was enough and they should have fun.

He did not know how he let that 'nurse' slip into his words. Should have had a breakfast so his brain could function better.

Damn everything.

"Oh, right. That reminds me," Akali said quietly as she reached for her bag, "I have to study for quizzes. Last week was worse than I expected. Should have-"

"You just want to go see Shen," Zed cut in bitterly, "Hell, you just want to get away from me."

"Zed," Akali said firmly, "Nothing will ever happen between us. And while I greatly admire Shen, I still put my study first."

Zed scowled. He knew Akali was direct and could be harsh, but hearing her saying it out clear still hurt nonetheless. "Good for you."

Akali's furrowed her brows. She turned to the bowl, possibly just to avert her eyes from Zed.

"We are friend since we were so young." Akali said, still not looking at him. Her exact emotion was hard to pinpoint in those words, "And we've changed, a lot, three of us."

"Yeah right."

"I just want you to know that none of us is happy with this," Akali sounded resigned.

Zed frowned. He turned away from her and began eating his food.

He sensed a motion from the girl next to him. "I'm sorry," she said, and with that, she was gone.

* * *

Akali could nail an algebra quiz with ease, but she absolutely lacked solution for the thing on her mind. Seeing Zed spiraling downward as he grew up deeply pained her. While he was, most of the time, a nuisance, he wa still her friend. She would like to help him, but she, in her opinion, was the source of his problem in some way. She was not certain that her stepping in would do more good than harm.

She admitted that Zed was fairly attractive. He has a tall frame and has a killer biceps. His hair was always disheveled, which could be someone's liking. He was also very smart, almost on par with Shen. However, it was not surprising that no one get involved with him. His careless attitude and his rudeness pushed everyone away. He was also very attached to her, to the point that it was uncomfortable.

Maybe it was because he had no other friend than her and Shen (if Zed even considered him a friend)? They were very close growing up. Come to think of it, he could use other friend that is not them. Someone who was outside this awkward circle. Someone who maybe could calm him down a little, offers him new perspective et cetera.

Akali opened the library door. The place was always deserted as almost no one wanted to study after classes. Reviewing was almost always entirely done the night before exam. One night miracle, they said. Somehow Ionia Grand University still upheld its image as a place of scholars. This would always baffled its students.

Shen is in a desk deep inside the library, tucked away by bookcases' shadow. Akali quickly walked there and sit down opposite of him.

She looked around, "Zed's not here?"

Shen looked up, his face indifferent, "You are early."

"The projector stops working for some reason," Akali replied, "You were not at lunch?"

"I went talking to professor Bhrami about her assignments and then ran into Karma. She wants to have a staff meeting tomorrow evening."

"There goes our review session,"Akali shrugged, "Hope you have fun."

"You know what it is like, Akali," Shen sighed, his face expressed a subtle tiredness. Akali smiled in amusement.

"I'll buy you coffee for tomorrow," she said sincerely.

Shen did not answer, but the corners of his mouth did curved upward slightly. Akali considered this a success. She quickly took a seat opposite of him and produce her textbooks from her bag.

"I want you to help with biochemicals." Akali said, opening a large book, "Enzyme and stuffs. Really cannot remember what goes with what."

"To remember something. You must first understand it."

"Shen," Akali said as she set a bunch of her study papers down, "I want someone to help with the lecture, not a philosopher."

* * *

"Hey, Shen"

"Mmhm?"

"Do you think that we — I don't know," Akali scratched her chin, "um, can we spare a minute and talk about Zed?"

Shen said nothing, but he nodded in acknowledgement. Akali took that as a cue to continue.

"How do I say this," Akali closed her book and pinch the bridge of her nose. She sighed loudly, "I think I may be — scratch that — I _am_ the reason he spiral downward like this."

"I do not think you are the only reason," Shen said without looking up from his book, "I am his stepbrother, I should have done something."

"He used to be much sweeter back then. Full of energy. Enthusiastic," Akali said, "Oh my, since when did that go downhill?"

"I suspect he was lonely," Shen replied.

"Well, we are his friend, aren't we?"

"The thing is, does he think of us as his friends?" Shen looked up at her, "He wants to be more than a friend with you, and he somehow wants to be less than a friend with me."

"And I ignore his feeling," Akali said warily, "I refuse, but he keep coming back again and again. I feel bad. He feels bad. Everyone's a winner."

"He is determined. That's the good quality of him," Shen said, "Sadly it is wasted on something he know would bear him no fruit."

"You talk like an old man."

"Of course, and it is why Zed refuses to listen to me," Shen's massaged his temple. He was in no better position than her, it seemed, "If I tried to be more friendly, he would dismiss it as another scheme, probably will an ill intention or something."

Akali chuckled dryly.

"Do you think if I — That he would listen if I...?"

Shen looked up at her, his brows furrowed, "And if he finds out later that you do it out of pity, no, that you do it to goad him to a direction?" He shook his head, "If you do not like him that way, don't. It will end badly for both of you."

"I'm just kidding!" Akali said a little too loudly. It was rare to witness Shen's serious concern like this and it made her a bit flustered, "I would never do that. I live by the code of honesty."

Shen nodded and went back to his book. Akali took that a cue to resign to her study as well.

A moment passed, and Akali decided to bring the topic back, "I think he needs a friend."

Shen looked up at her, puzzled.

"You know, another friend," Akali said with her hands doing elaborated gestures, "Outside our circle. The one with fresh start, something like that."

"Please continue."

"Spending time with us gradually killing him inside, and I think a little could be done at this point. If I try to be closer to him, it would be bad in a long run, and he doesn't trust or listen to you," Akali winced at the last part. She did not intend to make it sounded that blunt, "I — I mean, from his perspective, we are probably terrible choices of friends."

Shen nodded. "And how do we find him a new friend?" he asked.

Akali opened her mouth before she realized that she had absolutely no idea.

* * *

Zed walked back from the public gym. Gym is the place he can always vent off some steam. There were punching bags there, and weights, and whatever thing that could tire out his body and, hopefully, his mind, so he could just lay down and think about nothing for maybe an hour and a half.

He decided to take an unusual route. It leads him through a bunch of cheap dorm and some shops, but this part was beautiful. Full of antique building and small, peculiar shops. Most importantly, it was a shorter route, and there was an excellent, though quite expensive, drink shop at the very end of the pth, round the corner.

Zed was waiting for his iced milk tea when he saw her. At first it was a dark spot on the rooftop of one old dormitory building. It caught his attention because it appeared to be moving. When he got his drink, he looked back and squint his eyes and could see a vague feminine shape. Curious, he walked to the building and finally saw a complete image.

The silhouette was of a teenage girl.

The teenage girl was standing by the ledge of the roof.

The teenage girl was standing by the ledge of the roof, eyes distant, and clutching books (which must contains suicide note, he assumes).

He quickly runs to the building, his drink be damned. Yeah, he may be an acted like a jerkass but that did not mean he had to always be one. He, for certain, would not let anyone commit suicide before him. Not on his watch. Not when he could do something. Not when he was approximately five hundred metre away.

The old building with a supposedly suicidal girl had an old fire exit stair, which extend to the roof. He jumps over its fence and hastily ran up, taking three steps at a time. Zed is quite surprised it did not give up on his weight and his stomping, judging from how rusty it is. He took probably just seven minutes to reach the rooftop, and he yelled.

" **STOP!"**

The girl turned to him, almost at an instant.

"...Yes?"

Zed stopped against the wall to pant, but regains his composure fast and turned to the girl. He slowly and cautiously walked to her. Zed was not sure it he did it correctly, but he would stick to a slow-and-steady approach.

"I don't know what you've been through, but don't give up," he took a deep breath and continue "I'm here. I'm here now. I—"

"...Excuse me?"

Her voice rang like a bell in an old church. Zed would say it was deeply intriguing.

"I'm here. You can talk about it. You don't have to jump."

The girl furrowed her brows. "I am going to jump?"

And it was Zed's turn to be confused. "You're on a ledge of the roof?"

"The ledge?" she said quietly, almost like a whisper, "I'm sketching."

"Oh."

They both looked at each other for some time. Zed was dumbstruck. The girl seemed to be confused and slightly startled.

Finally, the girl seemed to notice where she was standing. She makes an 'o' with her mouth, like all the pieces of information had fallen into their places. The girl carefully stepped down.

After the tension (if there was any) died down, Zed could finally see her better. The girl was smaller than him. She had long, messy silvery hair tied up in a ponytail. She was in an old lavender cardigan, with a black skirt, and black tattered legging. She wore no shoes, and he could see her dirty feet. Her eyes were vibrant violet. She was pretty, in a way that radiated an air of mystery.

She was looking at him curiously. Her eyes darted up and down to study him. Zed was suddenly conscious of his look. He had not brush his hair since the past week. His red sweater was the very worn one he wore since high school. His shoes was probably dirty from all the 'frustration run', he did. Zed could feel a slight heat of embarrassment on his cheek.

The girl spoke, "My name is Syndra, and thanks for supposedly rescuing me." She bows.

Zed hesitates for a second, and bowed back awkwardly, "Name's Zed. Please, don't do that again."

* * *

 _* This chapter has been re-written in 4/10/2017_


	2. 2 - serendipity

**Chapter 2**

 **serendipity** _[n.]_

\- the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

* * *

They were in Syndra's room.

Zed gestured to the back of the room, "So… what's it with those lights?"

"Oh that? The previous owner left them here and I like them."

Syndra insisted that Zed must rest, and brought him to her room.

"You did quite a bit of running, you have to sit down or you will hurt your brain." she said passively, though her tone suggested that she was very serious about it.

"I study medical and I'm not sure about that theory of yours, miss," Zed tried to make himself sounded not offending. Syndra's face was unchanged, so he assumed that it was well done.

"I'm not sure either, but you 'save my life'," Syndra did an air quote, "Let me repay you in something. A glass of water, maybe"

Zed's little scrap of politeness wanted to decline her offer. He did not want to trouble her any more. Besides, what would people assume about two teenagers of opposite gender stating in the same room? Inappropriate, probably.

Once he voiced his thought though, "Why should we worry? People would think we are friends or something. Mrs. Choi downstair would even be happy. She keeps saying that I should stop hiding in my room and go make friends," Syndra said, her brows raised slightly.

So he was here, inside a peculiar room of a peculiar girl. A simple, sparsely furnished one-bedroom-one-bathroom. Small, but not cramped. The room was inadequatly lit. There was fairy lights by the bed. A desk lamp on the floor. A paper with dried flowers lining up above the fridge, and rows and rows of canvases hanging on the wall. And also canvases on the floor, leaned against an old armchair, of which had a pile of… things… on top of it. A painting easel was by the window, with a stool accompanying it. The light on the ceiling did not work, or maybe Syndra just keep it that way. The room managed to look both organized and messy at the same time. The mystery of artists, perhaps.

And thus, they were talking about fairy lights and Fine Arts major.

If you squeezed Shen and Akali together, and sprinkled on them mystical quality, you would get Syndra. She talked softly, but had an solidness that suggest determination. Her posture was straight and certain. She kept mostly to herself, but Zed was sure that she will open up her everything if she trusted you enough. Syndra somehow made him wanted to make a good impression on him.

"You have to study history? Wow, at least I'm more lucky than you in something," Zed chuckled. He liked history though, but decided to instead entertain his host.

"But it is fun," Syndra protested lightheartedly, "Professor Preems made us do the painting study of the art of each period," she gestured to the section of the wall by the window, "You can take a look there."

"That sounds cool. I don't even know why I study medical." Zed leaned back on a couch that was his seat. A loud creak made him sprang back up.

"You don't know?"

Zed clicked his tongue as he slowly shook his head, "I guess I choose it because people told me I should go for it?"

Syndra blinked, "But you did well? You must like it to an extent that let you commit to it somewhat."

Zed grinned weakly, "No, not exactly. I guess what kept me afloat is that I have good memory and my romantic rivalry keeping me motivated."

Syndra raised her eyebrows, eyes wide..

Zed suddenly felt the need to explain, "She.. Well, she doesn't really like me. I mean... Well…," Zed scratched his chin, "I maybe probably can count on her for other major life issue, but, romantically speaking, she repulses me. The other guy fared better than me, to put it lightly."

Syndra looked even more confused, "I don't think she should neglect you. You are not terrible."

"Probably just to you. Others have different opinion." Zed looked the other way, embarrassed that he just admitted it out loud. "So… Mrs. Choi From Downstair?" Zed asked in an attempt to change the subject.

"What about her?"

"You said she would be glad you finally made a friend?"

"Oh," Syndra sounded embarrassed. Her head tilted to the left and her shoulder slightly raised. Zed must admit that she was almost as adorable as Akali pouting.

"Sorry. It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."

Syndra put her hand up, "I'm alright. It's just..., well, don't people think it's weird," she extended her arms fully to her sides, "That I don't really have any friend? Do you think I'm weird?" She swung her arms lightly to empathize her question.

Scratch the earlier statement, this is _the most_ adorable thing he had witnessed. "No. No, you're not," Zed answered, suddenly aware of a presence of heat on his face, "Some people just prefer to be by themselves. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right."

Syndra put her arms down and started to fidget with the hem of her worn sweater, "She loves to talk and is quite pleasant actually. I painted acacia flowers for her once, I think. She loves it," her eyes drifted to nowhere, "Yeah, it was very challenging. They looks like those cheerleaders'... things,."

"Pom poms?" Zed added.

"Yes! That. Pom poms. But the flowers is yellow and fluffier and natural." Syndra enthusiastically clapped her hands repeatedly, "Oh I should write this word down. It sounds terribly funny," Syndra turned and looked around from her stool, "Where is my notebook?"

After a few seconds, Syndra gave up. "I'll dig it up later. Where were we?" she asked.

"Mrs. Choi From Downstair. You painted her acacia flowers. She loves it." Zed answered with a smile. Talking with Syndra was very warm, cozy and comfortable, like he used to feel when he talked with Shen and Akali, back when they were just kids.

"Oh yeah, Mrs. Choi. About her…," Syndra tapped her mouth absently "Yeah, so I talk to her sometime. She told me that she notice that I usually go in and out alone. I somehow told her I don't really have a friend. She was…," Syndra frowned, "...fretted? I don't know. She was very worried and told me that it's not healthy."

"Shoulda told her to stick to her business," Zed waved his hand, "But she sounds pleasant and I should not say that."

"Oh, it's okay," Syndra smiled, "I know she has good intention. She has no one to be fretted over. A divorcee with no child."

Now Zed felt very guilty, "I suddenly want to apologize to her. I _really_ should not say that."

Syndra abruptly stood up, surprising Zed and slightly startled him.

"Have you eaten?"

Zed looked at her, dumbfounded by a sudden change of the topic, "...No, not really planned."

His stomach decided to rumble. Very cliché and uninspiring.

"C'mon," Syndra reached for his arms, "Mrs. Choi cooked the best stir fries. You'll love it."

Zed might had imagined it, but he thought Syndra purposefully pulled him by his (signature) bicep and maybe even _squeeze_ it. But since he was a self-admitted egotistical jerk, he preferred that he imagine it.

* * *

They were downstairs. In front of them was a door with weird talisman plastered on it. There was a crane painted on the door in loose strokes. Maybe Syndra and M Choi were closer than what he assumed.

Syndra knocked repeatedly. "Mrs. Choi!" she called, "I brought a friend!"

"A what?" a faint sing-song sound rang through the metal door before it was opened with some difficulty. In front of them was a small, thin woman with rich dark hazel eyes. They were bright and lively, overshadowed those bags under. Her hair was auburn, but it was obvious that it was dyed. She looked younger wearing an oversized offensively bright magenta shirt and a pair of faded pajama pants.

"A friend," Syndra said happily, "his name is Zed and he hasn't have his dinner."

Mrs. Choi studied him for a moment, tilted her head to the side and smiled, "Then come inside! I cooked more than enough for us three!" She then rushed him inside. Syndra told him that the room downstair was usually bigger and had their own cooking area, and Mrs. Choi's room was one of the like. The room was simple and clean with the biggest thing being a dining table by the fridge. Mrs. Choi made Zed sit at the head of the table. "You're my guest of honor!" she said brightly.

Zed opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted with a loud _clang!_ Of a metal dish literally slammed on the table in front of him. Glass noodle stir fry with a lot of vegetables. Not his favorite dish now but definitely one when he was younger.

"Syndra said you have not eaten!" Mrs. Choi smiled, "Dig in!"

Zed obeyed blankly. It tasted too good and he knew it must be MSG or excessive use of oyster sauce, but it made him remember to be hungry, so he continued to eat with no protest. Syndra settled on a chair to his left, while Mrs. Choi was moving by the stove and putting the food in various metal containers. Very domestic sight.

"How come you befriend him Syndra?" Mrs. Choi asked from the stove, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but he doesn't look like one of your art folks."

"You're not. He's a medical major. I went to the rooftop to draw the sky. He saw me and he thought I would jump off a roof. He ran up those rusty stair in five minutes or less," Syndra furrowed her brows, "Should I tell the maintenance?"

Mrs. Choi turned around and looked at the girl. "Young lady!" she gasped, "You risk yourself falling to death and all you are worried is that the stair might break?"

"It's a fire exit, ma'am," Syndra protested, "It is very important to keep them in a good condition."

Mrs. Choi rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Priorities," she chuckled.

Zed smiled at their exchange. He felt a pang of jealousy. He was not very close to his stepfather, and Shen and Akali was hard to talk with comfortably. Syndra looked _at home_ , and that was the thing he desperately needed.

"I thought she was, um, not ordinary," Zed said after he swallowed a big bite of noodle, "which she is, but in a good way. You know, I feel relaxed talking to her and I don't usually feel relaxed."

Mrs. Choi gaped at him. She turned to Syndra quickly, "Is there something?"

That nearly made him choke.

"No, ma'am. He is crushing on someone," Syndra shrugged, and impressed Zed with the way she appeared sincerely nonchalant, "but that girl must not be very smart. He said she ignores him."

Mrs. Choi studied him again. "I see," she said amusingly, "He's got that — what to say — rugged edge about him? Not everyone's cup of tea."

"Their loss," Syndra frowned, "What is a tea without some bitterness?"

The exchange made him felt his temperature rising. Unlike Syndra's room, Mrs. Choi's room was adequately lit with cheap fluorescent lamps. If he blushed, it would be immediately noticed.

Mrs. Choi seemed to know her cue to change the topic, "Anyway, you would not mind telling us about medical major?"

And so he told them.

* * *

"...so you should not have antibiotics just because you've caught a cold. Them bacteria might develop a resistance to it, which would be bad in a long run," Zed gulped down a mouthful of tea, "You should just rest and let your body does the work it oughta do."

"Ah," Mrs. Choi clasped her hands, "I always thought having some pills speeds up the recovery."

"Sometimes they do, but you should still take them under some moderation. It's chemicals you are digesting," Zed furrowed his brows as he thought about his statement, then added, "Actually, everything we have is chemical in nature. Anyway, consult your doctor first, ma'am"

"I told you about antibiotics for hundreds times and you don't believe me," Syndra spoke, "but when this guy said it, you suddenly have an epiphany?"

"In all fairness, young lady, you are not a medical student," Mrs. Choi refilled Syndra's cup, "now shush and have some tea, I'm going to listen to this gentleman talk about his academic accomplishments."

Zed smiled awkwardly. He scratched the back of his neck and said "It's not very interesting, honestly."

"Why, yes. It must be more interesting than listening to Syndra talks about art periods, and her lack of human anatomy skill."

"Hey!" Syndra yelled from her seat.

Zed turned to Syndra, eyes wide, "There's something you cannot _draw_?"

"I'm not a master painter from the Renaissance, please excuse me," Syndra raise her cup, "And scenery don't move much."

"I thought the model have to be still?" Zed quirked his brows, "Is there a new practice in life drawing or something?"

"No, you're right. They have to be still," Syndra frowned, "But life drawing session usually have students walking around studying each other work and trade their opinion."

"And that is bad because?"

"Let just say most of the students are reluctant to give an honest opinion, and even more don't even want to talk," Syndra took a sip, "Everyone is awkward there."

Zed nodded in acknowledgement. Syndra took this as a sign to continue her complain, "And there are those assignments that have you do a sketch of _people_. I rarely go out of my room and rarely interact with someone. And I cannot always turn in fifty sketch of Mrs. Choi so..."

Mrs. Choi looked at him amusingly, "That problem will soon be solved, I can tell."

Syndra eyed him, then looked at Mrs. Choi in confusion, "I may draw him, but that doesn't mean—"

"The thing is," Mrs. Choi waved her cup to Zed, who was no less confused, "you can hang out with him to see all beautiful people around here. You won't feel as awkward drawing in public and I think he would appreciate your company as well." She glanced at him. Zed got an implication of her idea in an instant and turned away to hide his blush. Syndra, however, was oblivious.

"I don't think Zed would like that," Syndra objected and turned to him, "Aren't medical students very busy?"

Zed found his throat to be very dry, despite cups of tea he had had, "It depends."

Syndra leaned back on her chair, frowning. Mrs. Choi looked back between them with silent amusement.

Zed wanted to lay down and reorganize his feelings. He was madly infatuated with Akali, but it was both different and similar with Syndra. She had some quality that Akali did not, like acknowledging and admiring him to some extent. Zed looked at the frowning girl who was circling the rim of her cup with her thin fingers and wondered why someone who he had known for three hours max could have this much impact on him. He then decided to put this contemplation down the schism in his mind. It would rise back up in some time, but he would rather not deal with it right now.

Zed tapped on his cup, looking down to see his reflection. "If we have time, we could hang out like Mrs. Choi suggested," he stole a glance at Syndra. She seemed surprised, "Maybe your endless energy could help motivate me to live another day."

Syndra huffed but smiled at him, "Whatever pleases you. Don't force your schedule though."

Zed smiled back at her. He was going to ask Mrs. Choi for a refill when he felt his phone vibrated. He clumsily pulled it from his pants pocket. Shen messaged him that he could not join the group review tomorrow, then he saw the time, "...It's half-past-eight already?"

"It is?" Mrs. Choi said, surprised. She squinted her eyes looked at the clock by the back of her room, "Certainly doesn't feel like we've spent time here that long."

Syndra stood up, "I think you should go. I've heard medical student have quizzes every day."

"It's not really a problem. I do a quick reading before going to bad and that's usually enough."

" _Usually_ ," Syndra repeated the word firmly, "Unless it's ' _always_ ', you should not be careless. Science is hard!"

Zed could not find a word to reply, so he just shrugged and stood up, "At least I should help Mrs. Choi do the dish first."

"Oh, don't worry! I will do it. Gotta give an old lady something to do to pass the time," Mrs. Choi said cheerfully as she rushed him to the door.

"I don't think you are old?" Zed protested weakly.

Mrs. Choi gasped, and put her hands on her chest. "My my!" she feigned flustering, "Aren't you the loveliest gentleman of this country!"

Syndra groaned and pulled him through the doorway.

* * *

They spent thirty minutes by the door. Mrs. Choi insisted that Zed took some of her cooking back with him and Syndra made him promise that he will eat and _appreciate_ it. There was also a long string of blessings and praise from Mrs. Choi for him, during which Syndra was visibly on the verge of collapsing by the door and pretend to be dead. In the end, they walked to the dorm's gate with four boxes of stir fries. Two for each of them.

Zed gave one to Syndra. "My diet would disapprove," he said, and was met with a long berating from Syndra, which the last part was about a conspiracy that his diet was just a propaganda to raise the price of a 'regular, used-to-be-ordinary' food. Zed tried to tell her about nutrition facts, but Syndra countered that his food had not enough nutrition of 'happiness', which had him dumbstruck. It somehow ended with Zed promised to have an ice cream tomorrow, to Syndra's satisfaction. Zed was grateful for himself that he did not mention skipping breakfast this day.

"I think you can see that she can be a little overbearing sometime," Syndra said as she opened the door for him.

"She is very kind, though," Zed answered with a smile.

"I'm glad you like her. She certainly want you to visit again, sometime."

"Actually, about that." Zed searched for his phone, and handed it to the girl, "Can you write your contact for me? I'd like to keep in touch."

Syndra looked confused, so Zed added, "but if you don't want to—"

"No, it's nothing," Syndra waved her hand and grabbed the device. "Like I said, I don't really have friend and so I don't really have anyone asking for my contact," she said as she typed her on the phone, eyes focused.

She handed him back the phone once she finished. "Never really figure out how that works," she eyed his phone, "that 'touching screen to type' stuffs. How can a flat surface detects our touch anyway."

"Maybe there's sensor of some sort," Zed pocketed his phone, "See you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"Probably. Certainly. Whatever." Zed smiled, and turned to leave.

"Don't forget to read your textbooks!" Syndra shouted from the door.

"I _will_ forget to read my textbooks!" Zed shouted back and laughed heartily.

* * *

 _* This chapter has been re-written in 4/10/2017_


	3. 3 - aucadity

**Chapter 3**

 **audacity** _[n.]_

\- courage or confidence of a kind that other people find shocking or rude.

* * *

An unexpected encounter last night had Zed in positive vibe. He woke up early to a text from Syndra that said "quizzes be ruled!". Those extra exclamation marks made him even happier. He reached the lecture hall _before Shen_ , and that was something worthy for a history book. He was so cheery that he took notes and, for once, did not stare at the ceiling contemplating all the wrong in the world. Maybe it was that one _right_ that he had found, and the world seemed not to be so ugly anymore.

When the class was over, Shen found Zed outside the room humming a weird tune. The stoic boy quirked his eyebrow at him, "You seem well today."

"Am I not allowed?" Zed replied _cheerfully_. Shen thought his worry and his late night reviewing might make him hallucinate, but Zed was really smiling and not lashing out at him. As he watched Zed practically skipped down the hallway, he concluded that something may, for real, turned better after all. He had to tell Akali about this sudden development after the committee meeting.

* * *

Akali, however, would not need that.

She ran into Zed in the canteen and, to her surprise, he seemed preoccupied, barely talked to her, and, most importantly, happy. She should feel relieved that he was not brooding or harassing her, but the sudden change compared to yesterday piqued her interest more.

"You look happy," she said as Zed smiled into his phone, "I'm glad."

"Thanks," he said, just that. Nothing more.

Akali furrowed her brows. She said nothing as she resumed eating. Maybe he found a friend at last? A friend that was a perfect fit for him? Nah, that sounded too convenient, like a plot of fanfiction or something.

"What happened?" Akali decided to asked, "I mean, I'm happy that you're happy, but—"

"I found someone cool," Zed replied, eyes still on his phone.

"Who is he?"

"It's a she," Zed corrected her, "A Fine Arts major. She's weird, but in a good way."

"I see," Akali lied. She was actually more confused. Fine Arts faculty and Medical faculty were very far away from each other, not to mention Zed's lack of artistic interest. How come he befriended a Fine Arts major. A _female Fine Arts major_. Zed talked to a _girl_ and befriended her! The girl seemed interesting enough that Zed shifted a majority of his attention from Akali (she suspected he was talking to the girl via mobile message). It was a welcoming change, but so fast it felt alarming.

As if this was not interesting enough already, there was an unfamiliar silver-haired girl rushing to Zed and shook him. Zed laughed and turned around to talk to the girl. Akali studied her. She wore her hair in a messy ponytail and wore a loose sweater decorated with purple polka dots. She wore a cream skirt that reached her knees and a pair of black leggings. Over her shoulder slung a plain beige satchel. Not the best combination, but it had its appeal.

"You don't have to run all the way to here just to remind me of that," Zed laughed. _Laughed_. Akali wanted to rub her eyes to make sure she was not imagining things.

"I have a bike, you silly," the girl hit him lightly on the shoulder, "How can I go to the Fine Arts building located on the far north of the world without a vehicle."

"Does that mean Fine Arts is cooler than around here?"

"No, their air conditioners just want to give us a realistic atmosphere of _Lo Khan_."

"What?"

"The cold hell."

Zed and the girl laughed in unison. Akali's interest shifted entirely to the duo (or couple? Akali was not sure), abandoned her meal entirely.

"Why are you here anyway?" Zed asked after their laughter died down, "Don't you have class this afternoon?"

"No afternoon class," The girl shrugged. "There was a life drawing session at the evening, though, so I'm stuck in a limbo. You know? That feeling when you know you are free but have to go study soon," the girl lamented.

"Life drawing session like the one you mentioned yesterday?" Seeing the girl nodded, Zed jumped on his seat enthusiastically, "I can go with you! I want to see what it's like and you won't have to be there alone."

"It might be boring, honestly," the girl said.

"Then we can be bored together and have something to gossip about," Zed giggled. Okay, this was new for Akali. She never saw, or even _heard_ , Zed's giggling. This girl certainly had something in her.

The girl suddenly turned to Akali and scowled, "Is this _her_?" she asked Zed, voice deeply displeased. The tone made Akali felt guilty of something, even though she had no idea what it was. Maybe this was a special ability for those attuned with arts and emotions?

"Oh! I totally forgot!" Zed turned to Akali and gesture to the silver-haired gir, "Akali, this is Syndra from Fine Arts," he scratched the back of his head, "Yesterday I gave her a… quite bad impression of you. I'm sorry," he said sheepishly.

Zed _apologized_. Akali pinched her leg and was confirmed that, yes, this was real. This was baffling. Fantastic. Terrific. Akali could not conjure another adjective ending in -ic because she was not a poet, so she concluded with the word 'weird' and 'strange' instead.

Akali coughed. "Um, nice to meet you," she forced a smile, "I assume you already know me?"

"Oh ho ho," Syndra sniggered darkly, which Akali found weirdly amusing, "Of course I know you. The hen with a gemstone. The monkey with a crystal ball."

Akali blinked and turned to Zed. He shrugged. Very unhelpful.

"From the tone of your voice, you really must have a bad impression of me," Akali said, halfway between confused and vexed, "Let's just say that I do treat him harsh sometime, but that doesn't—"

"I refuse to hear!" Syndra said loudly, attracting a few pair of eyes, "From what I've gathered last night, Zed is the most kind and gentlemanly gentleman that has ever graced my existence!"

Akali quirked her brow, "Ah, well, I think you haven't met that many 'gentleman'," she finished with an air quote.

Syndra looked slightly redder. She clutched Zed arm and looked at her furiously. "Whatever, your loss," she muttered under her breath.

Akali tried to repress her snicker, "By the way, last night?"

To Akali's confusion, Syndra bolted up, straightening herself. She used her free hand (another refused to leave Zed's arm. Akali assumed that she must like it.) to slap the table. "Ha!" She shouted with a triumphant, toothy grin, "Only the dirty minded girl would be attentive of that word. I know!" She then lowered her voice to just a whisper, "And you've walked right into my trap!"

Akali suddenly became cautious of Zed's mental well-being if he should stay with this girl. Syndra looked like a person with endless energy, but also a bizarre logic. Then, again, the representative of Fine Arts was nothing but _bizarre_ , so she should not expect much difference from other students in that major.

"I don't want to say this in front of him," Akali gestured to Zed, whose lack of input in this conversation had begun to worry her, "but I am not, nor do I want to be, anything but friend to him." She noticed Zed's grimace and felt a bit guilty, "Also, mentioning that you yourself, a grown woman, spent a 'night' with him, a grown man, would always draw the worst conclusion from other people! That's why I'm interested in that particular phrase! It could be bad for him! And for you!"

Syndra looked at her, wide eyed like she had heard that string of words before. "You do care about him?"

' _This girl_ ,' Akali thought. "Yes, as his friend since childhood, I care about him," she frowned, "and I would hate to see bad things happen to him, or something to hinder his future." Akali was not sure, but she thought she saw Zed winced at the last word.

Syndra turned to Zed and beamed, "You didn't say she care about you! Seems like things are not bad after all! You still have a chance!"

Zed chuckled dryly, "I _did_ say I can count on her on most thing, Syndra, but not _that_ thing."

Syndra was wide-eyed, "Oh! I forget that," she waved her free hand, "I was trying to remember the word pom poms, you see." Syndra then suddenly frowned, "By the way, that's not fair. You are good-looking and have a good heart. And she care about you! If you give it more time, things could turn to your side!"

Zed blushed slightly at Syndra's public compliment. "I've give it fifteen years, Syndra," he sighed. Syndra was impossible to understand sometime. Not to mention that her recent behaviour was greatly embarrassing for both him and Akali. Still, Syndra's violet eyes were sincere and encouraging, and he could not bear himself to be angry at her.

"Anyway," Syndra turned to Akali, "to spare you from any worry, and because you have proven to still have some kindness, I'm going to tell you about the last night."

Then Syndra gave Akali a highly abbreviated description of last night's events, from Zed found her on the rooftop to Mrs. Choi to them exchanging contact. Akali suspected that Zed felt the last part was unnecessary to be told to her. She made no comment and just gave Syndra a curt nod and sit down. Syndra did not seem to mind.

"Anyway," Syndra turned to Zed, "did you nail the quiz? Do you have afternoon class? Have you have ice cream? I know a place."

Zed smiled exasperatedly at the girl, though he smiled, "We can go hang out before your life drawing session." He gave Akali and apologetic look before being pulled away by and excited Syndra.

As two of them left her vision, Akali slowly resume eating. People had since left her in peace. Her mind wandered to Shen and felt a little bit jealous of Zed that he had someone so attentive and a lot of time to spare for him. And Syndra was not even Zed's girlfriend!

' _Give it more time_ ,' she thought, a bit mockingly since she burrowed Syndra's words. She chuckled to herself as she took a sip from her bottle.

Well, that was something.

* * *

Zed and Syndra were walking by the campus's stadium, with Syndra's old bike by her side. Zed had silently texted an apology message to Akali (since when did he started apologizing? Last night, probably.). Syndra was talking about nothing in particular, he caught a bit here and there that she was talking about surrounding floras. She apparently enjoyed painting scenery, though she complained that her 'grass painting' skill was sub-par.

"I mean, it frustrates me, like, always," Syndra swept some of her stray hair to the back of her ears, "Jhin can paint anything and he always make sure to rub it in our face."

"Whoa, this Jhin guy," Zed chuckled, "Insufferable, I guess? You are not bad, though. Maybe you are better at him in something."

"Probably talking to a stranger," Syndra shrugged, "Never know how on earth he ends up as our representative."

"And I was thinking why his name was familiar," Zed looked at the bright sun of two in the afternoon. He prefered them to be by somewhere cold and under shade right now. He recalled that Syndra talked about an ice cream shop earlier, so he asked her.

Syndra gasped, "Oh no!"

"What's wrong?"

Zed was more confused when Syndra bowed to him apologetically, "I totally forget about it! Once we are outside I saw that tree and it takes my mind elsewhere!"

Zed looked at her fondly, "Well, short-term memory loss _can_ be serious, you know?"

He pulled out his phone to check nearby shop, "There is a coffee shop nearby. Your thought?"

Syndra looked paler for a second them managed to stutter, "S—Sure. What you'd like I'd like. I'm not picky."

Zed was about to comment on her choice of word but decided to drop the matter. He checked his phone again and began leading Syndra.

For a while, Syndra fell silent. Zed began to worry that he had said something wrong. Could it be that Syndra hated coffee but agreed with him out of politeness? Or was she pondering about the earlier incident in the canteen? He thought it must be the canteen thing, because it was the most plausible, even though it would be strange for Syndra to feel guilty suddenly after all the talk and a suggestion to rest at coffee shop. But, again, it was Syndra he was talking about. Anything is possible.

"Hey," he began "if you are thinking about the canteen thing, I'm not—"

"Oh no no," Syndra waved her hands and accidentally let her bicycle fall. She muttered a curse under her breath as she pulled it back up with Zed's help. "It's not that," she brushed some dirt away from her hand, "it's just, well, um..."

Zed looked at her, curious.

"Well… assignment, yes" Syndra said, though Zed did not believe, even a bit, "I was thinking about assignments, and this evening. It's going to be busy for me, you know?"

His eyes met hers. There were some uncertainty and some stress in the violet pair. Zed shrugged and decided not to press the topic. Syndra seemed to have something suddenly bother her, but he had absolutely no clue and, from some reading, pushing her could actually drive her away and cause her to shut down any attempt to talk about said topic completely.

"So," she swept some of her stray hair away from her face, "Where is that coffee shop?"

A sign that she _absolutely_ want to avoid talking about the topic. "We're near," Zed gestured to the north, "See those buildings? I stroll there sometimes after gym."

Syndra nodded in acknowledgement. "You do gym? No wonder," she giggled madly.

"No wonder what?" Zed was relieved that Syndra's mood was back to somewhat more positive, "That my arms were like this?" He flexed for a good measure.

Syndra giggled harder, and eventually snorted. Zed could not help but laugh in response.

"Seriously, though," Syndra smiled brightly, "with those arms, you can get anyone. Officially a ladykiller. You flex at them and they will swoon over you. Have you tried that?"

"I beg to differ," Zed grinned, "I think it'd be creepy."

Syndra pouted, "It's a great loss! You arm would be the best bolster pillow to hug to sleep." She was contemplative for a second then added, "If you have a large bed, I mean."

Zed felt hot of all sudden. He could feel his face reddened. To make matters worse, Syndra looked at him. Zed was certain thing was going to an awkward angle when Syndra gasped and said "Zed! You are redder than a peach!" but the next "I know today is too hot. The sky's too clear. Let's go to that coffee shop now." caught him completely off guard. He nodded dumbly as Syndra jogged past him toward the direction of the shop.

Well, it was Syndra he was talking about. Anything is possible.

* * *

Zed ordered a glass of iced latte. Syndra studied the menu for a very long time before ordering a cup of hot milk. Zed noticed that it was the cheapest item on the menu, though still costly. He thought on it for a moment. Syndra lived in a cheap, second-hand room in an old dorm. She owned an old bicycle, even though Fine Arts department was very far and would call for more efficient vehicle such as car or motorcycle. She ate with her neighbor sometime. Her neighbor was generous and usually gave her free food, which she gladly accepted. She apparently painted more than the amount that should be her homework. She was visibly uncomfortable with the suggestion of coffee shop, which tend to be on a costly side. She read the menu carefully and ordered the cheapest item. She talked to him through message, though there were many famous applications for chatting on smartphones.

Zed mentally cursed himself. He should saw it since last night.

Syndra was poor. Or should he say, she was under an unfortunate financial situation.

Syndra was fidgeting with her fingers as they waited for their orders. Syndra's order naturally came first. She frowned at the small porcelain cup.

"I thought it would be bigger," She said as she carefully dipped the metal teaspoon down her cup, "Yep, just this. Can't believe it was eighty-five gold."

"I thought so," Zed said in a quiet voice, "Coffee shops sells things really expensive. But they gotta put some loitering cost in there as well. Some students would sit here all day long and order just a glass."

"But, still," Syndra complained in a hush, "Hot milk? Eighty-five?"

Zed made no comment. He looked around the shop. It was relatively empty. There was someone reading by the far corner, and another by the very back of the shop. Perfect. He could do this.

Zed lowered his voice to even more quieter, "Syndra, I'm gonna ask you something. Please don't be mad at me."

Syndra looked confused. She put her head and her hand and leaned closer, "Sure. Shoot."

"Are you, ah," Zed struggled to find the right word, "are you, um, having trouble financially."

Syndra grimaced, which alarmed Zed. "You don't have to talk it you don't want to," He frantically waved his hands.

They were silent for a long while. By the time Syndra sighed, Zed was almost sure their friendship was over, and it was not twenty-four hour yet. "Zed," Syndra said, her voice more withdrawn than usual, "you won't judge me, will you?"

"Never think of it," Zed answered.

Syndra straightened her posture. She took a deep breath and pointedly averted his eyes, opted to look at the ceiling instead, "Let's just say I have to rely on myself for a while."

Zed nodded in understanding.

"I tried part-time job but customers and coworkers can't stand me, so I decide to sell my paintings and open a commission," she closed her eyes, "It's tough, but I've managed to get enough money, so far."

She looked at Zed. He could see her anxiety, her exhaustion and her determination. She looked like a different person. This Syndra was not a wide-eyed boundless girl, but was someone who had went through a considerable hardship. Older, stronger, and strangely distant.

"I must assure you that I don't need financial support," Syndra said in a firm voice.

"That's not what I intended," Zed protested quietly, "but, well, since you brought it up."

Syndra flinched. Zed's heart dropped.

"I don't want to offend you or anything," Zed said carefully, "but I'm your friend now, and friend supposes to help their friend in need."

Syndra sternly looked away through the window. She said nothing. Zed sighed and continued, "If you need something, you can ask me. I might not be as close as Mrs. Choi to you, but I'd be happy to help," ' _And I want to feel useful for once,_ ' he almost added.

Syndra averted his eyes for some time, and finally sighed heavily. "Mrs. Choi said almost the same thing," she looked at him, eyes softened, "I insisted I must do something in return, hence the acacia, and probably many more."

She leaned back on her chair, slightly relaxed. "If you want to help me, then you _must_ ask for something in return. I kinda take the philosophy of 'work hard and earn it', very seriously."

"Being my friend is enough," Zed said softly, before realized what he had said and looked down in slight embarrassment. Being around Syndra made him quite irrational. He needed to watch that, lest he said some awkward thing again. "But if you must, maybe you can draw me or something."

Syndra studied him, then smiled. "It's not like I haven't thought about that or anything."

Zed looked up, gaped. "Wait, what?"

Syndra waved her hand. "It's nothing," she said, the dark, intense aura from previous gone completely. "Your order takes ridiculously long, don't you think?" she said, looking over his shoulder to the counter.

"We're not in a hurry anyway," Zed released a breath he did not know he was holding, "On my house, this one, and you can draw my face or something."

Syndra looked skeptical, but sighed in acceptance. "Don't expect much from me," she said as she pulled out her sketchbook and a pencil, "But I'll do my best."

"Your best is the best," Zed gave her an encouraging smile. Syndra grinned softly in return and began to work.

* * *

 _* This chapter has been re-written in 4/10/2017_


	4. 4 - ameliorate

**A/N:** _So yeah, I'm back and living. After a hectic year that was my second semester and a various internal mental breakdown, I've decided to come back to this fanfiction because I need to recompose myself in some way. I reread the previous three chapter and was very displeased with them, so I rewrote. If you have read the previous three chapter, I suggest you reread them. The main plot point is still the same (The met in the first, talk for a long while in the second, and Zed learns Syndra's poor but proud in third) but the format is changed, and Zed is a bit more emotional and Syndra is more quirky and less brooding. I also tried to iron out any grammatical mistakes I found, and tried to make it consistent throughout. Anyway, I hope you like the change._

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

 **ameliorate** _[v.]_

\- make (something bad or unsatisfactory) better.

* * *

"For the love of — Keep this too, mister!"

There hushed argument netted them a glare from the barista behind the counter. On their table were various pencil sketches. There were some time before the life drawing session, so Zed convinced Syndra to do a quick practice drawing people in the shop. Since there were only three they could see, not counting themselves, Syndra ended up drawing them with various expression 'for practice'. She then drew another picture of Zed, which she claimed was better than the first. Zed could not really see the differences, but he agreed out of politeness. He told her to keep the better sketch to turn in to her professor. Syndra objected and tried to force him to take it as an 'exchange'. It predictably ended with a small argument.

"No, _you_ keep it," Zed said playfully, "You might not turn it in, but you can look at it when you miss me."

Syndra huffed, and crossed her arms, "If you insist this much, I'm going to give it to the barista!"

"You won't," Zed chuckled.

Syndra looked like she would jump out of her chair, but ultimately stay in her place. She sighed heavily and fold it, "Fine, I think I would work on it later," she looked at Zed pointedly, "But you must take it later. Promise me."

"Can't." Zed said comfortably. When Syndra glared at him, he threw his hand up, "Fine, fine. If you net an A in life drawing, I'll keep it."

"You know nothing, Zed," Syndra smiled smugly as she put the paper into a folder. Zed pretended to shudder. Syndra laughed in return.

Zed pulled his phone out. "It's almost four," he looked up at his companion, "should we go?"

"We probably should. It's quite a walk." Syndra replied. Zed nodded and walked to the counter to pay their bill. He had not finish his coffee. It was too sweet to his liking. He thought about giving it to Syndra and reckoned it would be a bad idea and decided, if there were any left, to put in the fridge in his room for unknown future. Syndra already stood up by the table when he returned. He nodded and they left the shop.

"Let's remember not to come to that place again," Syndra said after they were considerably far from the coffee shop, "Eighty-five. They'll never live it down."

Zed agreed. "They always make my coffee too sweet, too," he shook his head, "and if I told them to cut it down, it'll be plain. Bitter. No middle ground." He smiled at Syndra, "We oughta go to that ice cream place of yours soon."

"Do remind me," Syndra replied cheerfully, "I tend to forget things."

The air was much cooler now. He could feel a light wind breezed by. The sky was changing color, and he could understand, at this moment, why Syndra risked herself on the rooftop. He would want to be as close to these colors as possible, too. An amalgam of various hue, all blended in a beautiful purple and red. He looked at her, compared their clothes to the sky. Those polka dots on her shirt was not quite the same shade, and his red sweater was too dark and desaturated. Still, they were there, under the beautiful colors. His mind wandered to her eyes. Her vibrant violet eyes. His eyes were deep red. Together the colors were close enough to that of this sunfall. Now he was being very sappy. And dramatic. He mentally slapped himself.

"Hey," a small voice came from his side, "you haven't told me about the quiz."

Zed did not answer, but blew a wind onto Syndra's forehead.

"Ew!" She swiped her hands around, trying to disperse the air, "What was that?"

"My quiz," Zed said amusingly.

"What? It's caffeinated?" Syndra looked at him, confused and a bit irritated.

"It's a breeze!" Zed laughed, and earned a hit on his forearm. "Sorry, sorry. Won't do that again."

Syndra frowned, then giggled, "I prefer tea, though."

"Oolong?"

"Yes. And chrysanthemum. You like coffee?"

"Not really. I'd drink anything."

"That's not fun. Pick one."

"Water."

This earned him another hit on his forearm.

* * *

"We're here," Syndra said as they reached a building, "The room's to the right. Let's go."

Zed observed the building. Fine Arts faculty lived up to its name, as the building had no plain white paint on, revealing its red brick wall to the viewer. There were some spot painted by the (presumably) students. Flowers and fantasy creature decorated one wall, and another had a large painting of a grove and a waterfall. Zed had heard that Fine Arts's personnels were very chill and encouraging, but he did not expect the official personnels of the university to allow pieces of art to decorate the wall like this. If it was done elsewhere, it would be called vandalizing.

Syndra caught him staring. "They are beautiful, hm?" she walked to his side, "They were group project, wait no, _generational project_ , I'd rather say."

"What do you mean by that?" Sed asked, eyes still on the waterfall. He could spot dots of ink as fireflies, and there were butterflies drawn in an intricate details.

"Well, you see," Syndra gestured at the waterfall, "the batch of, I guess it's eight years ago? started drawing those in their last year," she pointed at a group of fawns by the very end of the building, which Zed must have missed, "It's like their parting gift or something. Then professors noticed and thought it was a good idea. Our buildings were not painted anyway." Syndra walked to the waterfall. She turned to Zed and smiled, "It has became a final project of sort, for the fourth year bachelor. This," she pointed at the waterfall, "was drawn two years ago. Each batch left us an instruction of what should be added."

"That's… That's fantastic," Zed breathed. Everyone should see this magnificent collaboration. Previously he would dismissed Fine Arts, and generalizing them as some kind of weirdo, but now he saw them as the most imaginative, bold, and harmonious.

"I'd like to have this at our buildings, too" He said absently, "Plain white is so boring."

Syndra chuckled as she walked back to him, "Never expect you to be appreciate of art, really." She grabbed his arms and pulled him inside, "C'mon, we have a class to attend."

It took Zed a full minute to tear his eyes away. He settled his pace beside the girl, "I think I might like art now."

Syndra looked at him, "You didn't? That sucks."

"I practically grew up on math textbooks and sleep using encyclopedia as a pillow," Zed shrugged, "Can't help it I've missed a thing or two."

Syndra grinned, "Well, it's not too late." She stopped in front of a door, "Do you want to come in with me or wait outside? It's gonna take some time and quite boring either way."

"You already said that, and I insist," Zed did not wait before opening the door for Syndra, "It must be better than reading textbook alone."

Syndra stopped at the door frame, "You can bring it to. It does take some time."

"Next time."

Syndra chuckled lightly and gestured him to come after her. Zed peeked inside the room. It was half-empty. Seemed like not many student would like to participate. Syndra told him on the way here that it was not _really_ official. Professor Soh (whoever that was) would like her students to improve their skill, but if their work were already good, she understood that there were a little to no reason to come to this late-night session.

Syndra led him to an empty easel. She pulled an empty chair from nearby and made him sit on it as she went preparing papers and pencil. Zed looked around and asked Syndra, "Hey, where is the model."

Syndra quirked her brows. She looked around and sighed in frustration, "Seems like they're not here yet."

"It's quite late," Had said after checking his phone.

They spotted a group of student talking with a tall, skinny woman ("That's professor Soh. We always tell her to eat more meat because she looks like she would shatter if she fell."). Syndra told him to wait in his seat as she went to join the conversation. From the look of it, she would rather not to, but everyone would want to know what was going on with the model.

After a quick serious talk, Syndra came back and told him, "The model caught a cold this morning."

"That sounds bad. Will she cancel this session," he turned his head to his back. Professor Soh was still talking, "It's not very late, though. We might be able to go find something to eat."

"It usually ends around half-past-seven," Syndra sat down, eyes still looking at the professor. Zed could feel that she was disappointed, "But if there's nothing we can do, we can go. Eating at night would probably be 'disapproved by your diet'."

Zed chuckled. She remembered that exchange to use against him but would not remember that she would like to have him at her favorite ice cream shop. Mrs. Choi was right. Syndra had weird sense of priorities.

"I ate late at night, too," Zed protested good-heartedly, "Hell, yesterday we had Mrs. Choi's cooking at, like, seven? I don't think my diet would disapprove that much."

"So you ate her stir fry?"

"This morning, yes."

They were unaware of others' presence, until Syndra felt a tap on her shoulder. Syndra looked back at her classmate, a rotund girl. They exchanged a few quiet words before Syndra nodded at apologetically and went to professor Soh again.

Zed pulled out his phone to play some games. He checked a message and saw one from Shen that told him there would be no group study this evening because he had to attend students committee meeting. It's not like Zed would go to the group study anyway. He always harassed Akali and acted mean to Shen and their study would go nowhere. He would not be surprised if Akali would pester Shen to exclude him from the group study. He would be furious before, but he had more interesting thing on his hand now.

Syndra walked hurriedly back. She looked half flustered and half anxious. Zed raised his brows in question, and Syndra complied, albeit reluctantly,

"I honestly don't know what are they thinking," she scratched the back of her hand, "you know, usually we would ask for a volunteer to be a model, in a case like this."

"I see."

"The thing is, everyone comes here to improve their skill, and no one would want to give up that chance by volunteering," Syndra inhaled heavily.

"And then?"

"Well, you are technically a stranger here and you don't have to practice life drawing," Syndra gestured to professor Soh, who was looking at them, "So… could you please be our model for this session."

Zed's mind went blank. Well, he admitted that he _knew_ he was attractive. He could be a ladykiller, like Syndra said, if he tried. He had heard some people complemented his look and his physique sometimes. Syndra had drawn him. This should come as no surprise for him _but still_.

"Zed?" the voice was worried, "If you don't—"

"Do," Zed stammered, "Do I have to strip?"

* * *

Luckily (or not? Damn! Zed was confused) he just had to take off his sweater, which was not resting on Syndra's lap. He turned to the girl and saw her bit her lip anxiously. She did not want to bother him, and he had already reassured her. Still, Syndra must have felt like she exploit his company somehow. He contemplated taking psychology, so he could find a way to relieve her stress effectively. Then he remembered he must study about brain and neurons and decided to left the decision about his future unclear again.

"Professor Soh," he heard someone from his left whispered. It was easy to hear everything, even the scratch of pencil on the paper, in a room as quiet as this, "I apologize in advance, but can he take off his shirt too? It would help us about anatomy."

"My student," professor Soh replied as quietly, "Zed is our guest, and we have bothered him enough." She looked over the easel and gave him an apologetic smile. She must knew that he could hear everything. "Besides," she told the student, "we must study anatomy _in theory_ before put it in practice. We just finished a lesson about skeleton, and I insist we take it slow."

The student knitted their brows, but nodded and resume sketching. Zed looked at Syndra again, and saw that the tip of her ears were redder than usual. She must have heard, too.

Professor asked him to just sit still, so there was not much Zed could do before a break. He let his mind wander. He thought about Akali and wondered how he had lost an interest in her so easily. Akali was his crush since he was six, and now he suddenly accepted that she was his best friend. Maybe it was the toll of being rejected for fifteen years, or maybe it was Syndra? Syndra was, after all, the only other girl that came into his life and the _only_ that treated him kindly. He then realized that Akali was kind, too, but his constant harassing must have changed her view on him. But Syndra was different, in a sense that she made him more cautious of his actions. Was he just scared to lose his new friend? Or was it a different thing? He wondered whether his feeling for Akali was genuine.

He looked at Syndra. Her brows were furrowed as she intensely focused on her drawing. Zed admitted to himself that he was scared that he would drive her away, like he did once with Akali. Worse yet, he had known Akali for twenty years, and he still mistreat her. Earlier at the coffee shop, he knew almost crossed the line. Normally he would dismiss it and told himself that he needed no friend, but Syndra was, well, Syndra. Her presence made him softer around the edges and eager to made her happy. Maybe his feeling for Akali was so selfish that he drove her away? If so, he wished that he would made it right this time.

He then thought about his future. Why did he choose medical, again? Shen always aspired to be a doctor, and Akali was eager to study nursing major and become one. What about him? He had no idea. People around him told him that, with his intellect, it would be a waste if he study anything outside medical. Sure, he was above-average, almost at the top of the classes, but he felt no enthusiasm to study. Almost everyday was the same tedious combination of rapid lecturing and making it through a book as thick as a dictionary. He also barely knew the detail about the clinical training he would have to endure. Maybe he was not fitted to be a doctor, after all. But what _should_ he be, then?

Syndra seemed like she was certain about being an artist, and sure as hell worked her hardest to be the best. He assumed that there was a tough competition in the market, and you either be the nest and remembered, or fade into obscurity. Syndra was nowhere unskilled, but she _must_ be the best in some way lest she would be nobody in the future. She was not guaranteed to have work or stable income, but she still practiced and believed that she would made a name of herself. She had already worked to build a small customer base with her commissions, which was also her source of income. Zed hated to admit it, but he, Shen and Akali was still receiving a monthly allowance from their parents. Those two, however, would graduate, become successful and provide their service to the society (and a large sum of income to their parents.). Zed was not sure he would be able to do it. He could not help to feel deeply ashamed.

The sound of soft conversation woke him from his pondering. Syndra was walking to him, worry in her eyes.

"You look… out there. Stressed. Vague. Something," she gestured widely, "Is there something wrong? I can tell professor Soh."

"Nothing. Just thinking about my schedule tomorrow" he lied, and forced a smile, "It's a break already?"

"Yeah. We would walk around and study others' works," Syndra huffed, "I already told you nobody wanted to do it, didn't I?"

"I remember," Zed moved a bit on his chair. Sitting still for god-knows-how-long made him feel stiff, "Can I walk around for a bit? I think my back and my legs ache."

"Oh, sure," Syndra offered him a hand. There were carbon smudge on her fingers, which she must not be awared. Zed did not mind, and grabbed her hand.

Professor Soh walked to him and apologize profusely that she caused him much trouble. He waved his hand and told her that it was not so bad. Sure, sitting still had its drawback, but people were drawing him and that was quite a compliment.

"Would you mind if I walk around and take a look?" Zed asked. Professor Soh shook her head and offer to walk with him and Syndra. She would have to give criticism too.

There were good ones, average ones, and… ahem — not-so-average ones. Professor Soh asked him to give his thoughts, which he complied sincerely. This prompted Syndra to gave a criticism as well. In no time, students were gathered around an easel and talked about what they should, and should not, do.

The group went from easel to easel, and Syndra frowned as she nodded when one of her fellow students pointed out that her drawing, while not bad, looked stiff. Professor Soh suggested that she should loosen her strokes a bit. They went like that for a while, and none of them realized that the break was over five minutes ago.

* * *

The second half of the session was the same as the earlier one, except a furiously blushing student asked Zed to rolled up his sleeves a bit. Professor Soh chuckled at the sight and muttered something about arm muscles. Zed was made to sit in his chair in front of the room again, and, to spare himself of stress, opted to think about food instead.

It was a critical mistakes, because he was very hungry by the time the session was over. Syndra looked at him and must have realized, because she hurriedly packed her things and bid her professor a short farewell before urged him to grab his back and pulled him out of the room.

"Do you know any place?" Zed asked, exhausted. Note to self: Never think about food for forty-five minutes straight again.

"There was a noodle stall nearby. I'll pay. You've been bothered enough already."

Zed was about to protest when Syndra continued, "It's not eighty-five. I'll manage, trust me."

They walked in silence. Syndra glanced at him from time to time. When they could see a noodle stall around the corner, she abruptly stopped and turned to face him.

"I've been thinking," she begun, "Since I've earlier revealed a part I'd rather hide from people to you. It should be fair that you share what's bothering you to me, as well." Syndra voice was firm but reassuring, "I'll tell you more about myself in return, okay? This can be a good opportunity to learn about each other."

Zed nodded dumbly. Syndra smiled and led him to the stall. They picked a table and ordered. Syndra urged him to order extra, which he politely declined.

"So," Syndra began as the stall owner began cooking, "what was bothering you earlier. You know, in the class?"

"It was nothing serious. But it is now serious since I've thought about it." Zed crossed his arms on the table and leaned closer, albeit he kept his eyes downward. This was going to be a long evening.

He told her about his worry that he might accidentally drove her away, carefully left out a part that might sound too 'romantic'. He commended her hardworking, and told her about his future and how he was unsure about it. He told her about his lack of motivation to study, and his long history of competing with Shen. Syndra tilted her head, listening attentively. Zed felt a bit better that he could finally vent out all the worry to someone. He pondered whether he should tell her that, because of her, he no longer felt lonely, and became much less bitter. He ultimately only told her that he appreciated her influence upon him. Their food were served sometime during his speech, and left untouched for most part.

"I get you," Syndra said, twisting a string of noodle absently, "Life can be hard. No — let me rephrase that. Life. Is. Hard."

"Everyone has their own struggle," she pointed her chopstick at him, "but some find their resolve faster than others. Not saying that I've found mine, but it was good, so far, so I can't exactly complain."

"You seem to find yourself," Zed sighed, "I don't even know why I study or what will I be. You are better than you think you are, Syndra."

"Heh, you just pointed out earlier that I have financial issue," the girl grinned, "I cannot say I have it under control, but I'd say your issue is much, _much_ more serious than mine."

Zed quirked his brows.

"You see," Syndra gestured around, "when you've decided to become a university student, it's practically mean you've accepted the fact that you are throwing at least four years of your life in this place."

"There is no way out," Zed said grimly.

"Not exactly," Syndra patted his hand. A comforting gesture, "You can always re-enroll in something else. It means you would take more time, but it'll be worth it if it's something you like."

"But I don't know what I like," Zed frowned.

"You have this entire semester to find out."

Syndra rubbed his hand lightly, and it eased his mind quite a lot. She was right, he had an entire semester. It was just his first year, and he did not mind having to study a year more.

"Thanks. I'll try."

"Don't try," Syndra gave him a sincere smile, "do it."


End file.
